Hello, Besties!

I know, I know! I was supposed to be more consistent. But, what happened was…. Alien abduction? **side eye** Nah, for real, I had COVID, again. AGAIN! I hate the Rona! Luckily, it was not too bad this time. It was more like an annoying sinus infection. It still zapped my energy. Ugh!

Well, now I’m back. Just because you all have put up with me, I will give you a two-fer. Let’s jump into the first one. It’s about two Petty Betties. Both of these questions come from Slate magazine. The first question reads:

I am a college student. Two of my closest friends, Alison and Lucy, had a falling out. Thankfully, I was able to maintain my close relationships with both of them through a difficult period of being caught in the middle. I see both separately, and they are now friends/friendly but are definitely less close than before. Alison is planning a trip and invited me and some of our other friends to go with her, but doesn’t want to invite Lucy due to their falling out. I really want to go on the trip but am terrified to tell Lucy as I don’t want it to appear as if I am picking sides.

How do I gently tell Lucy that I am going on the trip with Alison? In a perfect world, I’d go on a trip with them both as I love them equally!

— Spring Heartbreaker


Dear, Spring Heartbreaker:

Gurrrrrl! It is something about college that brings out the pettiness. My best friend was in your shoes when we were in college. One of our good friends did something horrible to me (and another one of our friends), and I refused to be around her AT ALL. She broke the friend code, girl! I might go into details in a storytime one day, but not today. This is about you.

I don’t know what your friends are fighting over. My guess: a guy. It doesn’t really matter because you’ve chosen to remain friends with both ladies. With that being said, you should not feel guilty about going on a trip with one of your feuding friends. You have nothing to do with their mess. This is something the two of them have to work out, if they choose. Whatever you do, do NOT talk about the other friend behind her back, while you’re on vacation with Petty Betty 1. That is not fair to Petty Betty 2, who you have chosen to remain friends with, and it would make you just as messy. Let’s keep it classy. Be Switzerland in this situation.

Enjoy your vacation!

~Jana Leigh

Whew, chile! The pettiness is strong within those Betties! Let’s switch gears. This letter also comes from Slate magazine. This woman is in quite a pickle. The letter reads:

 I feel terrible, but I want to break up with my boyfriend after he lost his license because of drunk driving. We’ve only been dating a few months, and I had my reservations about the relationship even before the drunk driving incident. I knew he’d driven drunk in the past, and he tried to convince me he could drive us home on New Year’s even though he was drunker than I’ve ever seen him. He’s a complete wreck, and he may lose his job.

I feel terrible but I just don’t want to be in the relationship anymore. We used to go back and forth with whoever’s apartment we went to, but his place is far away from mine, and I’m going to have to go to his house every time for the next three months. This is just not the type of relationship in which I want to put that kind of effort. I just feel awful because I don’t want to be one more terrible thing that happens to him. He’s pretty sweet, but doesn’t really have his life together in many ways. I worry that me breaking up with him is going to be something that causes his life to get way worse. I’ve been thinking that I could wait off for a few weeks to break up with him. What do you think?

— Breakup Bitch


Dear, BB.

Why wait? Nothing will get better. He doesn’t seem to be aware that he has a problem. I can’t believe you got in the car with him on New Year’s after he’d been drinking. That is SO DANGEROUS! He is a danger to you and himself. GET. OUT. NOW! You’ve only been with him a few months, girl. You don’t even like him anymore, so what is waiting going to do? Nothing.

He has to know this is coming. You deserve a man who respects himself and you. I don’t care if you write him a Dear John letter or tell him face to face. This relationship has run its course. You should end things as soon as possible.

Good luck.

~Jana Leigh

If anyone has a question you would like answered, please, send an email to AskJanaLeigh@gmail.com.

See you next week! Ciao!