Hello, Besties!

I really hope you are doing well during this awful pandemic. This virus is insane! Once you think it’s getting under control, BAM! A new variant comes out. I’m just coasting along, at this point. I’m wearing my mask and staying away from others. Since I’m an introvert, social distancing is not a hard thing to do. Most of the time, I quite enjoy it.

During this pandemic, I hope you find my blog posts entertaining and enjoyable. I want to be a bright light during these dark, uncertain times. Something to make you smile at least once during the day.

Anyway, I’m way off topic. This question comes from Slate magazine (again). It reads:

Two weeks ago I left on a short vacation to visit a friend across the country. I said goodbye to my amazing fiancé with tears in my eyes even though I was only going to be gone for six days. We’re in our late 20s, have been together for four years and have always had a strong, loving relationship. When I reached my friend’s apartment, I met her roommate “Josh” who turned my world upside down. I have never given another man a second look during my relationship, but Josh and I had such an instant connection, it was unsettling. We spent hours talking, sharing stories, and getting to know each other’s backgrounds. While my fiancé and I have lots in common, there are issues that we have compromised on (number of children, religion, saving vs. spending). Josh and I, however, seemed to be in sync on every issue we addressed. Nothing physical happened, but I left the trip feeling sad that I was leaving Josh! I am absolutely dumbfounded by these feelings. I obviously don’t know Josh well enough to know that we would work out as a couple, but he introduced a doubt in my relationship that I can’t seem to shake. I still love my fiancé, but now I’m questioning if our foundation is strong enough for a marriage … which is supposed to happen in six months! What should I do?


Dear LW:

Girl, let’s be honest. You’ve only known him for SIX DAYS! He could be a whole pedophile, a rapist, or a scam artist. He sounds wonderful to you because you don’t know much about him. Since you don’t know much about him, your mind is free to add all of these wonderful attributes to him that he probably does not have. The mind is tricky that way. You have been with your fiance for four years, and you’re marrying him in six months. You must love him because marriage is a huge commitment. The problems you’ve named in your relationship with your fiance are typical issues. If you left your fiance for Josh, you’d probably have similar issues to overcome with him too.

Let’s go even further into this. You could be having a bit of cold feet. Maybe you’re afraid of being locked into a marriage and finding any excuse to back out. Josh could be your ticket to freedom. **shrugs**

Well, you’re not married yet, so if you feel this connection to Josh, explore it. Call him. Get to know him as a friend. No flirting. I bet you’ll lose interest within a month or two. He lives too far away and has his own life. Josh is a fantasy. He hasn’t been with you through thick and thin like your fiance. Four years is a long time compared to SIX DAYS.

Girl, leave Josh alone.

~Jana Leigh

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