Happy New Year, Besties and Beauties!

A lot has gone on since my last post. I left my job and started working for a new company. I had stopped doing the things that I loved to do, which are reading and writing. Frankly, I just needed some time to myself for a while. Now I’m back and better than ever. I lost a few pounds. Grew my hair out. Gosh, I almost feel like a brand new person. My blog was never far from my mind though.

This new year has brought clarity. I had stopped writing to focus on other things. Those things did not fill me with as much joy as writing. Now, I’ve decided that writing is my specialty and purpose. It’s what I’m going to mainly focus on. With that being said, let’s get into this question from Slate magazine. It reads:

My first spouse had a thing for Disney, which I hated. Our whole house was covered in Disney stuff (think 101 Dalmatians shower curtain, etc.), which was tacky and embarrassing. When I met my current spouse, I made my zero-tolerance Disney policy clear. She said no problem, but confessed that her twin daughters (now in their late 20s) were the “Harry Potter generation” and that she and the twins still had “minimal nostalgic experiences” related to HP.

Fast forward five years, and “minimal” was a psychotic lie. There is A LOT of Harry Potter in my life. At least once a month, I catch her reading from one of the HP books on her Kindle. I overheard her on Zoom with the twins having anguished conversations about “what to do about Harry Potter” given the author’s transphobia. And whenever she visits the twins, they all do some HP-related thing. The most recent was to go to a HP store, and my spouse came home with a notebook and pen representing her “Hogwarts house.” I reminded her that she promised to NEVER bring Disney merch around me, and she goes, “Disney didn’t own the Harry Potter franchise then,” which is splitting hairs at best. She put the merch inside a drawer where I won’t see it, but she won’t get rid of it or apologize for buying it. Now she’s planning to watch some HP reunion IN THE HOUSE while Zooming with the twins.

Prudence, she has advanced degrees, a high-level job with a great salary, and successful daughters, so I don’t know why she needs to cling onto HP, especially knowing that Disney is a deal-breaker for me. To this day, she claims HP is a “minimal” part of her life and that she didn’t misrepresent. How can I make her see that her HP thing is actually a significant fixation she needs to outgrow if she wants our marriage to last?

—Done With Disney


Dear Done,

I couldn’t help it. I giggled after reading the first few sentences. However, your current wife isn’t wrong. Disney does not have anything to do with Harry Potter. From what I’ve gathered, she does not do anything that would disrupt your life in any way. So what, you catch her reading Harry Potter once a month. So what she has a Harry Potter pen? (In my 20’s, I used to have a pen with Tigger on it. It lit up. I loved that pen.) How does that hurt you? I think it’s great that her daughters have a thing in common that excites them. Let them have fun! It’s not like they’re doing meth. They’re just reading books. I have a few HP movies myself.

I think it’s time to let go of the problems you experienced with your first wife, and not project these problems unto your current wife. Like you said, she is successful and so are her kids. Obviously, you love her, or I’m guessing you wouldn’t have married her. She sounds awesome to me. I’d hate for you to lose out on a good woman all because you’re still hanging on to problems from your last wife. Just accept she likes Harry Potter and move on. I’m sure you have hobbies you love that she is not into, like football, basketball, or golf. I’m not big on sports myself, but I can tolerate it. This is just something you’re going to have to tolerate.

Good luck to you.

~Jana Leigh

**Hello again, Besties. My goal is to be more consistent with my advice column. I’m trying to figure out what days of the week to make a post. I’m thinking Mondays and Thursdays? What do you think?**

Tell me what you think about this guy. Was he over-reacting? Comment below.