Hello, Beauties!  I’m back again.  My book is published, and I’ve been super busy promoting it.  You would’t believe how hard it is to promote a book. OMG!  If you’re interested in my first book in The Mighty Keela series, then click here.

Anyway… back to the relationship question.  This question is from Dear Prudence at Slate magazine, which you can find here.  This question is a crazy one.  It reads:

Our parents are pretty old-fashioned and saved money for the future weddings of both their daughters. My wedding was called off when I learned my would-be husband had impregnated two different women. This was years ago. My sister is now engaged to “Meg,” whom I’ve never liked, because she’s always asking people to “spot” her for food, drinks, tickets, etc, and then forgetting to repay them. But she makes my sister happy, so I tried to be happy for them. They were supposed to be married in March, but that obviously didn’t happen because of the pandemic. They have had trouble getting their deposits back since several of the businesses went under, including the venue. Our parents are tapped out of money, and I know they feel awful about it. Meg—not my sister—approached me about my old wedding funds. She said the money must be “tainted” for me and was a sign that I was clinging to the past and unable to move on, that it would be a blessing to make my sister happy by giving it to them, and that I owed it to her because I treated her badly when she came out as a teenager. I admit that I was horrible to my sister when we were in high school. I lashed out at her and considered her sexuality an “easy target.” Once I grew up, I apologized to my sister, and she forgave me. I thought we had moved on. I told Meg I needed time to think.

I am terrified of saying the wrong thing and giving Meg ammunition against me. My sister loves her. I don’t want to even tell my parents because I know they will be upset on my behalf, and I don’t want to alienate my sister. But this conversation with Meg just sent up so many red flags. What do I do? Just pretend it never happened? Offer a few thousand as a bribe?

–Shaky Sister Support

Dear, Shaky:

I WISH someone would fix their mouth to say some dumb sh*t like that to me. While reading this letter all I kept thinking was: “How dare you?”  Who is she to insert herself into a personal matter between you and your sister? Not only that, but she manipulates the situation to try to get money from you.  A situation that you and your sister have resolved.  You’re a good one because I would have to tell her about herself and hurt her feelings.  Shaky that is YOUR money!  Nobody is entitled to it.  Not your sister and definitely not Meg’s ass.  Meg reeks of a con, a swindler.  I hate that your sister is attached to her.

However, this does bring up an interesting question.  Is your sister really over how you treated her?  She shared what happened in the past with Meg, for whatever reason.  If I were you, I would sit down with your sister, without Meg, and talk to her about what happened.  Tell her how Meg approached you and ask if she has any resentment left.  If so, the two of you need to work things out.  She’s your sister; she’s family.  She will always be in your life.  Meg, on the other hand, may not be.

From now on, all Meg would get from me is “hi” and “bye.”  Maybe I’ll throw in “How are you liking the weather?”  That’s it.

Shaky, good luck to you, and I hope this all works out for the best.

~Jana Leigh

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