I’m so glad to be back, first of all. Secondly, I’ve found this great comedy show on Hulu. It made me laugh so hard that I had to share it with you. What’s the name of the show, you ask? The Bachelor.
Yes. I know it’s not a comedy show, but to me, it might as well be. I’ve never seen such desperation. Those single ladies reeked of desperation. They were dripping with it. I know that laughing at someone who is crying is very mean (usually), but when you have about 15 women crying like Peter Weber was the last man on earth…. That is pure comedy. There’s other men out there, like billions of them. Your world will not fall apart, if Peter does not hand you a stinking rose. I mean that literally. Roses do stink.
Let’s dive into this episode.
Like I said earlier, I watched this show on Hulu last night when I was bored. Let me stop here and say that I haven’t watched The Bachelor in years. YEARS. I got tired of watching these white men cut all the black women from the show almost immediately. Then, pick someone that they’ll just dump soon after the show ends.
This bachelor (Peter), however, chose mostly minority women. Ok, Peter. I see you. He seems to like this very melanated woman named Natasha, who I also like. She is very pretty and very confident.
I must admit that I skipped most of the beginning of this episode. I wanted to see when the women first greeted him. Boy, they did not disappoint. Some of those entrances were ridiculous. Let’s just be honest. I mean, one woman crawled out of bag. 😑 Then, another woman hands him a cow. You read that correctly. A cow. Then, she walks off like she’s done something amazing. Smh. WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS DAMN COW, ASHLEY!!!
The kicker is his ex, Hannah, showing up and handing him the wings he gave her at the beginning of The Bachelorette. Why is she even here? She dumped him… on TV… after sleeping with him four times. He still looks like he wants her back. Why? Ok, Beauties. Put a pin in that. We’ll come back to her later.
So, the silliness continues with the entrances. Since Peter is a pilot, here come all of the paper planes, toy planes, and flight attendants. One girl put him in handcuffs and frisked him, which wasn’t bad. Another girl drives up in a red convertible. Yada, yada.
One woman shows up who he recently met by chance before the show began. **side eye** Beauties, let that tea simmer a bit.
Then, here comes Hannah Ann. **eye roll** Walks right up to him and kisses him dead in the mouth. Girl, who raised you? You just met this man! Not only does she do that. She interrupts other girls 3 times who are spending time with Peter. They were pissed! 😂 Here we go. Day 1. Hannah Ann now has a target on her back. She got that first impression rose though. She came to play. Keep an eye on her, Beauties. She does more. Just wait until episode 2.
By the time the actual rose ceremony begins, they’re already crying. Please, believe I laughed. Why are these 20-somethings crying like this is their last chance to find a husband? When did Peter become the last man on earth? I didn’t get that email. Maybe it’s in my junk mail. 🤔 I’ll check later.
Anyway, he goes on a group date. The girls go through “flight school.” Hannah Ann is one of the girls on this date. 😒However, Victoria P. is there. She has motion sickness and fails to tell anybody while Peter is twirling her around in circles. 😂 She runs to the restroom and pukes afterwards.
Next, is the obstacle course. The lady who won got to fly off with Peter into the sunset. Unfortunately, she cheated to win. You know what that means? Tears. Lots of crying. And, yes, I did laugh again. When she returned, they confronted her. She played dumb, of course. She made this face 😮.
But get this….
The next day Peter takes Madison on a one on one date TO HIS PARENTS VOW RENEWAL CEREMONY! What??? Bruh, it’s day two. TWO. Why is she going to your family’s event? Why is she meeting your parents this soon? She could be crazy. That’s a no, no. Furthermore, who tf is Madison? Where did she come from? Why does she get a personal date? So many questions.
**long sigh** Y’all. Episode 2 is even worse.
Stay tuned, Beauties.
This post blurred the line of reality and satire…just like reality TV does. Enjoyed it very much.
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