I have a letter from Dear Prudence at Slate magazine. Enjoy.
One of my husband’s cousins is getting married next month to a young woman he met online and has only visited twice. (She is moving from across the country to be with him.) They are 19 and 21, with no college or vocational training. Both sets of parents are swept up in the fairy tale and will not hear a word against it. I do not think the couple is ready for marriage; my husband agrees but says they are going to do what they’re going to do. I have a work commitment that precludes me from attending, which offends my in-laws because I am “choosing career over family.” Should I attend the wedding and wish them well, or should I skip the wedding in favor of work and keep my mouth shut?
This marriage sounds like a complete disaster waiting to happen, but guess what. It’s not you, so don’t worry about it. If you have a prior engagement, then that trumps the wedding, especially since it’s work related. I mean, you have to pay your bills, right?
In all seriousness, they are adults now. If they are dead set on marrying each other, then they will. They don’t need permission. Some people have to learn the hard way. Please, don’t bring other people’s problems into your life. They seem to have a support system, since the parents on both sides are encouraging them. Who knows. They may just be the one in a billion couple who beat the odds. I doubt it, but you never know. Either way, let them be. You can’t live their lives for them.
If I were you, I wouldn’t attend. Just send a nice gift or something.
What do you think, Peeps? Should she attend the wedding?
Don’t forget to like, share, comment, and subscribe. I love hearing from you guys. If you have a question that you would like for me to answer, email me at AskJanaLeigh@gmail.com. If I choose to post your question on my blog, then I’ll notify you and keep names anonymous.
**Photo Credit: From movie “For Keeps” with Molly Ringwald