Hey Peeps!  It’s been a while since I’ve given some advice, which I love to do, btw.  (If you have any questions that you’d like for me to answer for you, just email me at AskJanaLeigh@gmail.com.)

This letter comes for Dear Prudence at Slate magazine and reads:

Around the time of my wedding last year, my brother’s fiancée blocked me on Facebook. I had no idea why until last weekend, when she told me that she blocked me because she was not in my wedding and she didn’t want to see pictures of my brother, who was, processing down the aisle next to another woman. She is offended that I paired him with a woman she didn’t know (who happens to be my best friend) while they were engaged. My brother doesn’t seem to think her outrage is odd, and they are apparently expecting an apology. (They are now married.) I think it is bizarre that they think this is legitimate. How do I handle this?

Dear Sis,

Yes, this is bizarre.  Just reading your letter was making my blood boil, so I can just imagine how you felt actually going through this.  First of all, this is YOUR wedding! You can pair whoever you want to together.  If she or your brother felt offended in any way, they should’ve spoken up.  They didn’t. A wedding takes several months or more to plan, so they had ample time to say something.  They didn’t.  Then she blocks you on Facebook thinking that is a mature way to deal with a family issue. (It’s not.) She waited a year to finally tell you why she blocked you.  Now, she AND your brother are expecting an apology. An apology. For what???

Let me get this straight.  They want you to apologize for orchestrating YOUR wedding the way you wanted.  The hell I will!  If I was in your shoes, they’d wait until hell froze over before I would apologize. However, I am not you, so you can handle this one of two ways.

  1. You can do the “sorry, not sorry” apology. You can say, “I’m sorry you felt some type of way about the way I handled MY wedding. (Make sure you place emphasis on the “MY” part.)  Since we are all family now, I’d like us to move forward.”  You didn’t admit fault, and you did ask to move forward.  I mean, the wedding has been over, and your brother did not run off with your best friend.  There’s really no reason for her to be upset at this point (or at all).  If she accepts the apology, then move on. If she does not accept the apology, then… move on.  Her thoughts and feelings about your special day are irrelevant. **shrugs**
  2. Don’t apologize whatsoever, and continue to live your best life.  (I like this one.)

Good luck to you, Sis.

~Jana Leigh

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**Disclaimer: I am not a counselor.  I do however have a background in psychology and have taken many graduate courses in counseling.  Keep in mind, I am NOT offering counseling, but advice giving. **

*Photo Credit: weddingbee