It’s past time for another advice post. Once again this letter comes from Dear Prudence at Slate magazine. The letter reads:
In college, I started having a series of flings and casual sex with no consequences. I never had an issue with it and neither anyone else in my life. I’m now 30 and I’m still hooking up. I love Tinder. The trouble is, now that I’m older I’m getting a lot of judgment thrown at me. My sister says I need to find a nice guy and settle down. My friends say variations on the same theme. I’m OK with things the way they are. I doubt I could settle into monogamy anyway, and I’ve never really wanted kids. Last night, I told my sister that, and she said I’d better get my act together or I’d be too old for a “real” relationship and would have to settle. So I’m wondering—can you get too old for casual flings? Do real relationships have a sell-by date?
—Too Old for Flings
Dear LW:
No. There is no age limit for flings. Trust me when I say that there are men and women in their 60’s and 70’s having flings. I’ve been on dating websites, so I’ve seen this happen. If you have no problems with your lifestyle, then your friends and family shouldn’t either. Just make sure you are being safe and protecting yourself. Be CAUTIOUS! There are crazy people out there.
Being married with kids is so ingrained in our society that no one even questions why we should do these things. Some people don’t need to be married or have kids. You have figured out that you are one of these people… at least for now. You may change your mind later. It’s YOUR choice.
As far as your friends go, if they are all married now and have given up the single life, that may cause problems with the friendship. You have different goals now. It happens. You and your friends may be going in different directions. If I were you, I would find friends who have similar interests. I’m not saying to dump your current friends, but expand your circle.
I hope this helps.
~Jana Leigh
Readers, what do you guys think? Should she settle down or keep on going with the casual life? I’d love to hear what you think. Comment below.
Nope. Do what makes you happy.
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Exactly
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I am in my early 40s and wish I had felt like this was an ok approach when I was 30. I wasted too much time trying to find someone and realized a few years ago that I don’t like relationships. I like being single. Do you. People will wonder how you can possibly be happy doing what you’re doing…well, when you’re happy, they’ll see it. (and who cares anyway)
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I love being single. There is nothing appealing to me about marriage.
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