Hello there, Peeps! … Is “Peeps” still a thing? Hmmm…
Anyway, here is another letter from Dear Prudence at Slate magazine, which you can find here.
My husband and I are in our mid-40s and have a 6-year-old child. He really wants a second child. I am open to the idea but not desperate for another baby. I am happy with and grateful for our family as it is. Because he so wants another child, we have tried for years, with assistance from fertility doctors. That’s not a particularly pleasant process. I’ve been pregnant many times and have lost every pregnancy. It’s all been grueling and painful, physically and emotionally. Now my husband wants to try using donor eggs, but I really do not want to. I just can’t get over the idea that I’d be having someone else’s baby, and I’m not interested. I’ve done everything I can, and nothing has worked. I can’t face any more miscarriages. I want to embrace our family of three and move on, but he can’t seem to let it go. Any suggestions? Am I being unreasonable?
—Through the Mill
Dear Through the Mill,
I would love to get my Pimp Hand and slap the sh*t out of your husband. People keep saying that 40 is the new 20, but that’s a lie, especially when it comes to reproduction. A woman’s eggs can get “old.” Plus, you’re in the mid 40’s. That’s around menopause. This is when a woman’s body is saying, “Hey girl, let’s stop having babies and rest.” Some men just don’t understand. It may be because they don’t know what it’s like to give birth or experience a miscarriage. That may be part of it, but your husband is also being selfish. He is putting his wants before your health and well-being. Now, he is wanting you to do something to your body that you are not comfortable with at all. smh Please! Just let me slap him! Just one good time. That’s all.
Honestly, I don’t condone violence, but you should definitely speak up for yourself. This is YOUR BODY! You should be able to tell him no and that’s it. He should be thankful for the healthy family he has and go on with his life. So to answer your question, no, you are not being unreasonable.
Good luck to you.
~Jana Leigh
Please believe my Pimp Hand is strong. lol
**Feature Photo credit: footage.framepool.com
If he wants to have another child but she doesn’t want to go through the pregnancy, then maybe adoption might be a good compromise for them? Adopting would give the husband the second child he so desperately wants without forcing his wife through a pregnancy she doesn’t want to have?
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She said she is happy with the one child they have, but I agree with you. If they are both open to adoption, then go for it.
How have you been?
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Definitely better from how I’ve been feeling the past couple of weeks, that’s for sure! Making progress even though I have a hunch I’m barely scratching the surface of everything but going at it regardless. Hope things have been good with you lady! 🙂
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Keep your head up, Queen. You got this.
I’ve been exhausted lately. Plus, I’m starting a new job in about two weeks. I’ll have to move. I’m tired just thinking about moving. lol
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Thank you Queen ❤ and whaaaaaaat congrats! Are you moving far? Haha oh man I definitely feel you on the moving thing. Way too exhausting!
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Thanks! I’m moving an hour away, which is not too bad. I might hire some movers this time. lol I’m excited about the job, but moving is going to be a huge obstacle for me. lol I can do it though.
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You got it ❤ good luck on the move and new job! 🙂
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Thanks so much!
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LOL. Your pimp hand is strong? I’m dying here. I think she should just sit down and be honest with him. I went through fertility treatments and it’s very painful. I didn’t want to have another child. I thought I did, but really I didn’t. I didn’t want to be pregnant again or go through treatments. Men only have to jack off in a cup and the needles, pills and pain are exhausting for women. But, I think she should try to talk to him seriously about this. Can they afford another child? Will he give her full-time help as in a nanny? I’m 41 and I want help as a requirement if I have another kid for anyone. WTH? Work another job to pay the nanny’s salary, but I need my sleep.
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LOL Men can be so insensitive. I just want to smack some sense into this guy. They don’t understand how easy they have it. This couple is in the mid 40’s. It’s time to relax at that point in your life.
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Agreed. Unless it is an accidental pregnancy, I’m not looking into going through fertility treatments again.
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I don’t blame you.
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