This letter comes from Dear Prudence at Slate magazine, which you can find here.

Before meeting me, my boyfriend Dan slept around. He has always been upfront, and I don’t begrudge him his past. What’s weird is how often his father, Jack, brings up Dan’s flings. I’m guessing he enjoys bragging about Dan’s virility and maybe even gets a kick out of having an audience. I’ve asked Jack to make it stop, but things still slip out. Is this a normal thing for fathers to do? Jack also opines about the sexiness of Dan’s ex-girlfriends. I don’t know what to make of that either.

Dear LW,

This is NOT normal behavior. Fathers should not act this way.  Jack is a jerk! Plain and simple. Dan should be ashamed of himself for not putting a stop to this. I would pull Jack aside the next time he does this and ask him why he keeps saying such things. You probably won’t get a decent answer, so I would suggest spending less time with old Jack. You and Dan should have a plan.  If you go to visit Jack and he begins being inappropriate, leave immediately. If Dan is not on board with this, I would seriously consider moving on. Jack is being disrespectful to you and your relationship with his son. Jack is letting this happen. I would NEVER sit there and let my parents be so disrespectful to my imaginary boyfriend. Definitely, let your boyfriend know how frustrated you are and that you plan on confronting his father.

I’m guessing Jack has been living vicariously through his son, which is ridiculous. That never goes well. There may be some admiration going on there about his son’s many conquests. Either way, it’s not appropriate.  So don’t be afraid to confront this man because he definitely isn’t afraid be rude to you every chance he gets.

Good luck.

~Jana Leigh

I’ve never been in a situation like this before. Have any of you? This father is an a**hole. Readers, what would you do if you were in this situation?


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