This letter comes from the Strawberry Letters archive, which you can find here.

for the past 9 months I’ve been sleeping with a friend from school. Over these months we’ve gotten really close. He’s been the man in my life my confidant. Im starting to have feelings of love. Well on the last 2 months hes been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Hes been going through hell but Ive been there for him.he has a two year old son and after being diagnosed he proposed to his sons mother….I was upset but didnt show it. After finding this out i still sleep with him we still converse daily. What do u do when you know loving someone will hurt.

Dear LW,

I hate to break this to you, but he only sees you as a FWB (friends with benefits). He may confide in you, but that doesn’t mean he sees you as his woman.  At this point, you are a side piece.  I hate that you are hurting. I know you are crushed by this situation. Use this as a learning experience. Next time be up front with a guy that you like. Let him know that you have feelings for him and ask how he feels about you.

To be honest, I don’t think you’re the FWB type of woman. You become attached, which is a No No. Then again it’s hard to not catch feelings when you’re spending so much time with someone. Don’t worry. I’m the same way.  I stay away from FWB situations. It’s like saying, “I’m going to date you, but leave you the first change I get.” Nobody wants that.

Going forward, I would stop having sex with the friend. All it is doing is hurting you more. I would stop seeing him so much. If he wants to marry his child’s mother, then he can confide in her. Sticking around in this situation will devastate you. You deserve a man who is thoughtful, kind, and only wants YOU.

Good luck.

~Jana Leigh

Readers, what do you think? Should she stick around since he is sick?

If this is your first time checking out my blog and you like what you see, please, follow or subscribe. Feel free to share my posts.

If you would like for me to answer a question, email me at

Have a great day!


leo d.gif

**Feature image is from

**Gif is from