This letter comes from the Strawberry letter archives from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.  You can find the letter here.

I’m a 23-year-old female completely comfortable with my life right now. My downfall is that I have found myself becoming attracted to older men 40+ because of the stability that they have not found in men my age. Right now I have an older friend that views me as a little sister or someone that you can talk to when he is going through problems. However over the past months I have found myself begin sexually attracted to this older man. He is and has been in a four year relationship with a very established woman more established than him, and from the talk that we have she is constantly throwing up the fact that she has more money and assets then him. He is a good man he is there for her for her in every way a man should be there for woman except financially. It has come to the point now that he sleeps at my house to be away from her nagging. I am stuck just recently he began to flirt and make passes at me. He’s not married to this woman that they have been together for long time I want him but I am way too young to establish the type of relationship he has with her what am I to do she’s making it too easy for me.

Dear Clean Up Woman,

She’s making it too easy for you???  Girl, you are setting yourself up to be USED. If he wanted to be in a relationship with you, he would.  You have to go by men’s actions, not their words.  Words mean nothing unless they are backed up by actions.  You keep claiming he’s a good man, but who is he being a good man to? Not you.  He’s taking care of his girlfriend and tending to her needs.  He is just coming to you to complain and probably get some nooky.  Then he goes right back to her.  Don’t be his fool! He is taking advantage of your inexperience.

You do not want to get mixed up in someone else’s relationship problems. Keep things strictly platonic.  I wouldn’t even let him sleep over at my house.  Let him know that you refuse to be a side-chick.  If he gets upset and leaves, then good riddance! That means he was just after one thing.

There is nothing wrong with liking older men.  I love older men.  Oh those handsome Silver Foxes….  **sighs**  I wrote a post about how much I adore them, which you can read here. Just take your time and find the right guy for you.

Good luck.

~Jana Leigh

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