Is there really a signal that women put off that tells a man that she only dates married men? Because that’s all I seem to pull, since I was 16. And now I’m 28, if so let me know so I can clear it off my face. I always thought it was because i was mature for my age, but I even pull broke married men. Don’t laugh, but I believe if he was going to play he had to pay. Low esteem, has been a issue in the past. But once I’m with the men I can let them go. However they can not let me go, we all still remain friends we talk about everything and anything. And I do suggest that they receive couples counseling, ok i know I’m still in the wrong. I’m not slow, its just a maneuver i try to sic myself out to get them to leave me. It sucks I know, but the change the phone number move doesn’t work when they know where you work and live. These are not bad men, I believe they really just need someone to talk to. But like men they cant separate the cookie from the friend.

You can find this letter on Strawberry Letters Archive.

Hello Readers.  My friend Xavier answered this question.  It’s nice to get a male perspective on things.  This is what he said:

Yes.  There’s a quality you have that causes married men to gravitate to you.  Maybe you’re a homebody or perhaps you have something these men are missing in their households.  So they come at you with husband thirst.  Single guys don’t approach because they’re not interested in that quality or they don’t realize it’s missing.

I’d love to know what you think about his answer.  Do you agree with Xavier?

Dear “Friend”

The low self-esteem is the key issue.  One can tell when someone self-esteem is low by their body language, speech, and how they dress.  Predators prey on people with low self-esteem.  Now this has been going on with you since you were 16, which is very disturbing. This leads me to believe maybe you have seen or experienced something in your childhood that makes this ok.    These married men probably sense your low self-esteem and shower you with compliments just to get what they want. I suggest counseling.

Good luck to you.

~Jana Leigh

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