My name is (Larry) I’m a married man with 5 children I have 3 with my wife and she had 2 from a previous marriage our blended family is working well we argue like any normal family you know basic. Here is the twist I want to give my bestfriend a baby not mile high club style but going to a doc. She is reaching the age where she getting to the end of her clock and she is a great person. For the record we have been friends for 20yrs and never did the grown up. …. I lover my BF and I would prefer to donate then her going to a Bank. The problem is we don’t think my wife would go for the arrangement she doesn’t like the fact that My Bf knows me better then she does. I truly want to help my BF because she truly deserves a child Please Help

You can find the letter in the Strawberry Letter Archive.

Dear Larry,

This is a very complicated situation.  Essentially, you are asking your wife for permission to impregnate another woman, a woman who she is jealous of.  Not good.  You’re trying to start World War III in your house.  I don’t see this going well at all.  You wife will be furious.  If you were single, I’d say go ahead and help her out.  You are married and have to take your wife’s concerns and feelings seriously.

If you do impregnate your best friend, will she want child support?  Is she financially able to support a child without financial help.  You already have 5 kids, which is already expensive.  A sixth child may break your bank account.  Even if she does not want child support, how will she introduce you to this child?  Uncle?  Father?  Sperm Donor?  Since she is your best friend, you will be a part of this child’s life.  How will your wife feel about this?  Do you want to be a part of the child’s life in some form?  How will your kids respond to this?  This child will be their brother or sister.  I can keep going with the questions.  I don’t think either of you have thought this through.  I have so many more questions running through my head.

Why don’t you help your best friend pick out a sperm donor at the sperm bank?  Maybe then it won’t be so awkward for her.  Plus, you’ll be there for moral support, which I’m sure she would appreciate. Your wife should not mind if you helped your best friend find a donor.  If she does, however, I suggest you sit down and discuss her concerns… alone, not with the best friend sitting there.  Your wife may not want you to be involved at all.  In that case, you may have to accept that.  Your best friend is a grown woman, and can handle this herself.  Larry, you better really think this.

Good luck to you, Larry.  You need it.

~Jana Leigh

How do you guys think he should handle this situation?

If you would like for me to answer a question, contact me at  I love receiving emails from you guys.  Keep them coming.  I’m also on Twitter @AskJanaLeigh1 

** Photo credit:

My friend Xavier, who claims to be an expert on dating, will be answering a question this week.  Xavier is hilarious, to say the least.  lol  It would be nice to have a guys perspective.