My name is Jane Doe and I’m writing this letter because I’m in desperate need of advice. Just thinking about what I’m about to say makes me sick to my stomach. I am 19years old and i am in love. I have been having “relations” with John Doe , whom is 28 yrs old for the past year. The thing is, I live with my parents and they did not approve of how old he is. So for the past 8months i have been sneaking and lying just to be with my love. John has 3 kids and two different “baby mamas”. He and the last baby mama was together for 6 yrs. They are currently not together. I have been having this intuition, based on clues I picked up from him, that he still have “relations” with this “baby mama”. John have been telling me for the past year that he is not ready for a girlfriend, but after all this time being with him, I fell in love. Well recently, I caught him on a date with a DIFFERENT female. After he and i got “physical” we stopped talking. I am past hurt. I can’t describe the feeling of pain that aches in my heart. I miss him so much and i love him, For what reason, i do not know. We haven’t talked for the past week and its killing me. I told him numerous of times that i love him and he told me the same. I need to know was i only “sex” to him? Did he love me Steve? Will he come back? I just don’t know what to do anymore. Steve please help me? I’m in desperate need. Signed, A girl caught in a teenage love affair.

You can find this post on the Steve Harvey Strawberry Letters Archive.

Dear Jane Doe,

I’m just going to be honest here.  This guy sounds like a jerk.  He is stringing you along.  He’s taking advantage of your inexperience and naivete.   The fact that  you have to sneak around to see him should’ve been a red flag that something was not right.  Not to mention the fact that he flat out told you FOR A YEAR that he doesn’t want a relationship.  How many times do you need to be told before it sinks in?  It sounds like you’ve been hounding a guy to like you back.  That’s not how relationships work.  You can’t make someone love you.  According to what you’ve written, he is NOT in love with you.  Love is an action word. When a guy has feelings for you, he shows you.  He takes you out on dates.  He introduces you to his friends and family.  He is there when you need him.  This John Doe jerk has done none of that.  Sneaking around and having sex is NOT a meaningful relationship.

Then you “caught him on a date with a different” woman.  Are you stalking him? How do you just catch someone on a date?

So let’s recap.  You lie and sneak around to see a guy (jerk), who does not want to be your man.  He also takes other women out on dates and still sleeps with one of his children’s mothers… and you.  Does this sound like a nice guy?  Does this sound like a love story to you? No.

Sweetie, just let him go. He’s not worth your time.  Chalk this up to experience.  You are only 19.  You have a lot of living to do and should be out having fun with your friends.  The right guy will come along. Don’t rush it.

Good luck to you.


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