Good Morning Steve Harvey Morning Show, I’m a young girl who has been dating a guy for about a year and a half, the first couple of months was great, going out to dinner, movies, going shopping, out to clubs…etc. But after a while he wouldn’t take my calls or when he did, the entire conversation would be about nothing with long pauses of silence in between sentences. Basically him not caring about anything that I had to say. This went on for about a month and then we just stopped talking period. About 3 months later he calls me and wants to get back together, like sucker, I agree and we get back together. It’s been like a straight line, he’s just doing the minimum to please me, we have no problems with intimacy, its just the other things, like for one I’ve never met his parents, and he has met my entire family, two we never talk about where our relationship is going. Sometimes I just want him to do the simple stuff like, ask me how my day at work was, or if I need anything from the grocery store, but do I get that?? Not at all. I try to keep a smile on my face and think of the “at least” factor of our relationship. At least, he has a job, at least he has a car, at least he good in the bedroom, but he could AT LEAST do the little things. I love him to death and we say it to each other all the time but I’m not sure if his words are as genuine as mine. What should I do??? — Signed Confused but in love???
After reading this, I have a lot to say to this young girl. Let me pray for strength first…. Ok. I’m ready. Gurrrrl! He’s not interested in you. He may have been in the beginning, but not any more. That’s ok though. This happens sometimes. When a guy is interested in you, he calls, texts, and spends time with you. When he stopped taking your calls, you should have moved on, yet you kept calling him for a month. Why? Why would you put yourself through this? You could’ve spent that month going on dates with more suitable men. I suspect what happened was he found another woman and was giving you the cold shoulder. You made yourself look desperate. Never do that. That’s like Dating Rule #2.
Then THREE months later he calls you wanting to get back together. No explanation, no nothing. In other words, the girl he was with kicked him to the curb, and he knew you would be there to catch him. How does he know? Because you made yourself seem desperate for him. Obviously, you were because you took him back. Now you claim he’s doing the minimum to keep you interested. Ummm… no he’s not. From what you described, he is just your sex buddy. This is not a relationship. There is no substance. He doesn’t even ask you how your day was. Think about that for a minute. He doesn’t even think enough of you to ask about your day! He does not care about you.
Furthermore, all of those “at least” things you mentioned has little to do with how he treats you. This is not a meaningful relationship. It’s just sex. This is not what you’re looking for, so let him go.
One day you’ll look back at this experience and say “What was I thinking?” Don’t worry though. All women have experienced this. This is one of life’s lessons.
Ask Jana Leigh 